2.27 am
and the clouds streak across the stars
like your name across this heart
that you broke
and left for dead;
and so it's all i have left to
drive these deserted streets in a daze
wandering in your faded footsteps
still searching for a clue you may have
left behind; i'm
humming along
to a radio that wouldn't understand anyway-
"everybody hurts" -
no, only i hurt, only i bleed
only i was broken
because only i loved you.
past the darkened carnival,
the motionless rides
(where you warmed these cold hands)
frozen shadows
looming in the distance
like the past waiting to suffocate-
a c c e l e r a t e
and run away
even though i can almost see
fireworks in the rearview mirror-
the fireworks of two years ago
etched into the black night sky,
red and white illuminated between the stars
and trickling down to nothing:
we trickled down to
nothing,
didn't we?
yes you are now as cold and silent
as these slumbering carnival rides
and i am as hot as
my tires burning against the pavement
and as wild
as the wind whipping my hair in a small frenzy;
2.27 am
and i am learning
that you never tried as hard as you could.
to you, i am a crazy girl driving around in the middle of
the night.
the middle of the night, but to me
it is the middle of nothing.
it is the beginning and the end-
of nothing.
because you and me-
we were nothing.

(2002)