i'm teaching myself to say good-bye because
i don't know how to hang on to invisible strings
and hurtful things
that come from your pretty pink mouth,
and i'm just not sure what else to do
now that my heart is always black and blue
from the beating it constantly takes from you...

and though your eyes are like rivers
running through my pores,
i can not remember why i wanted you this badly in the first place,
what i ever found so sweet in your face -
so i push you down and cut you with words, but
if you could see through the blackness of my eyes
you'd see sometimes my anger is just a disguise
(for the way i was just another girl in love with you
another girl who thought her little life was through);

i stand outside of myself now and watch as our eyes
make love from across the room
through the devastatingly numb silence i never expected
and i've never been touched like that,
i have never been broken quite like that...

you tell me
it's okay now that we're not together,
but i know that nothing can take back
that you said those words to me
or replace that i have even forgotten how to bleed
for you...

don't tell me i've been too reactive for you to touch
because now i realize i never even loved you that much -
i need to sever the tie that binds me
i need to burn all these things that remind me -
i'll watch you rise with the ashes of how bad i feel
and i know, even the deepest of my wounds will heal.

(2002)